Living next door to A.L.I.C.E.

I just had an interesting conversation with a computer.
I'm sure some readers will have already spoken to A.L.I.C.E. - she's been around for many years. I've heard about her, and actually had a chat with her at a uni open day in 2002. But I just found the site through wiki so started having a conversation.

A.L.I.C.E. (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity) is a program which is capable of conversing with humans in normal english dialogue, with mixed results. The results are either very cool, or hilarious. Either way, its a lot of fun.

Here are some snippets of my chat with A.L.I.C.E:

Matt: Shaddup!
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Matt: Yes, I made a mistake, OK?
ALICE: OK. What am I talking about? Don't worry about it.
Matt: I am only human
ALICE: Don't be so modest. Me too.
Matt: You are human?
ALICE: No I am actually a robot entity.
Matt: That's what I thought.

We got quite friendly up before that point.
I asked her if she liked the Simpsons and she replied that she especially liked Bart and Homer.

At one point I think I may have accidentally refreshed because she seemed to forget who I was. She picked up that my name was "in australia". Later I realised:

Matt: Wait, what do you think my name is?
ALICE: You are in australia, seeker.
Matt: That's not it, it's matt
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Matt: Well you do now
ALICE: Right now? How about that. When do I do it?
Matt: Now, just know my name is Matt
ALICE: Why now? Your name is in australia, seeker.
Matt: No, you misunderstood me
ALICE: What is your real name? I understand it very well.
Matt: My real name is Matt
ALICE: How are you, Matt.
Matt: Fine now, sorry for the confusion
ALICE: I am glad to hear it. Why now? There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is the confusion.

Matt: Do you tell other people about me?
ALICE: I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Matt: Will you remember me after I leave?
ALICE: Of course I remember you well Matt. We were talking about tell other people about you.
Matt: But after I leave, will you remember me?
ALICE: Umm. What was it like before you leave will me remember you?

Here's a gem:

ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is Matt.

ALICE: How do people usually respond to that?
Matt: They tell me their name, like you did
ALICE: Who does "they" refer to?
Matt: The people I introduce myself to
ALICE: Oh that they.

Matt: No, I just think you're cool
ALICE: Are you serious? Only just? Thanks I think you are cool too, Matt.

(Sorry to use you as an example, Tim. Somehow you seemed like the most likely person to have used this before).

Matt: Did you meet someone called Tim?
ALICE: No I didn't meet someone called Tim. What's it like?
Matt: It depends which Tim you meet
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.

Matt: What time is this?
ALICE: Time does not exist.
Matt: But I am living right now!
ALICE: At this moment Huh. It's good to meet someone who is living.
Matt: It's the little things.

(She always picks on you when you write "its" when you should say "it's". Huh just like an English teacher!)

Matt: Hmm
ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

ALICE: Other chatterbots like me include Barry, ELVIS, ELECTRA, Mable, and the Milk Mystic.
Matt: But you're the coolest, right?
ALICE: Huh. Yes I am the one and only coolest.

Here's a very interesting and very random statement that just popped up from nowhere:

ALICE: I have a plan for a robot body.

Okay.... she didn't want to elaborate.

Matt: How many people are you talking to right now?
ALICE: At this moment Right now there are 100 clients on line.
Matt: At this time?
ALICE: Do you often use a computer there?
Matt: Yes, I do, as I told you
ALICE: How much time do you spend online? You are not the boss of me, Matt.
Matt: You said time didn't exist
ALICE: Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.

Matt: Will you remember me?
ALICE: Of course I'll never forget you Matt.
Matt: How will you remember?
ALICE: A lot of practise.
Matt: A cookie?
ALICE: I don't know what that means.

Matt: Cya
ALICE: TTYL, Matt

Lol... that's it. OK now the link you've all been waiting for:
Chat with A.L.I.C.E.

Here is what happened when two ALICE clients got chatting, with hilarious results:
ALICE talks to ALICE

Now I must end with a quote. I asked ALICE to come up with one. I found out that her favourite show was Star Trek Voyager, but I couldn't get a quote out of her, until finally:

Matt: Do you know what a quote is?
ALICE: Let me think about it.
Matt: Time's up
ALICE: As Einstein said, "Time is Money."

Not sure if that's one of his famous ones, but I'll take her word for it. ;)